It is impossible to go through life without doing some
things about which we look back and feel regret. Whether we classify them as
mistakes or bad choices or are just unhappy with the way we reacted to a
situation we often have quite a bit of difficulty forgiving ourselves for what
we did. It is often easier to forgive others for the mistakes that they made
than it is to forgive ourselves. While we believe that God can forgive
absolutely every sin that someone else commits, we often feel like He doesn’t
have enough grace to extend to me because what I’ve done is so bad that it is
unforgivable. We wonder how God can love us because we’ve let Him down so many
times.
It’s not unusual to go to counseling in hopes that someone
will help us be able to forgive someone who has wronged us in our past. We listen
to the therapist and go through the steps necessary to forgive that person even
though we feel like what they did was completely wrong. We begin to realize
that forgiveness has nothing to do with them but everything to do with us and
that becomes our motivation to forgive. We understand that we can’t move on to
becoming healthy without first forgiving those who hurt us because if we don’t
we end up staying stuck in our bitterness.
However, when it comes to forgiving ourselves for our pasts mistakes/sins/decisions
we often don’t know how to do it or if we even deserve forgiveness. But, forgiving
ourselves is just as important as forgiving others for our mental health. Let me say it again with emphasis. FORGIVING OURSELVES IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS
FORGIVING OTHERS. If we fail to take
this step we end up often dealing with depression, bitterness, hatred, and many
other physical and mental health issues.
At the root of feeling like we don’t deserve forgiveness is shame; the
feeling that I am a bad person. The
truth is that I am a very important, valuable person who has much to contribute,
but in my humanness I make mistakes. The
struggle with actually believing this truth is seemingly impossible to
overcome.
I acknowledge that in my own experience of counseling clients,
I often tell them how important it is to forgive themselves but I seldom have
explored with them how to do that. I take for granted that people can just
figure it out. However, as I was considering
this topic I realized I hadn’t thought this through even as much as I believed.
This series attempts to address those steps that we can take to move beyond the
things in our past that are holding us back.
Over the next several days I will be posting thoughts about
each step, what it means, and how to address it. I hope you will follow the series, pass it
on, share your comments, ask me your questions.
I believe this is something with which we all struggle so I do hope you
will share the series on your FB pages in hopes that these words may touch the
lives of people who really need healing in this area. Topics addressed will include shame,
spirituality, understanding my motivations, grieving, life lessons,
reconciliation, and anything else I might think of along the way or you might
prod me to explore. Thank you for being
a part of this.
No comments:
Post a Comment