February 27, 2012

The Need for An External Moral Compass

The mind has an incredible capacity to rationalize anything we need it to in order for us to believe we are living congruently.  In an earlier post I mentioned that looking at the fruit of our lives is a good way to measure whether or not our beliefs and values are working for us.  While that is true there are some definite downsides to only using that as a measuring stick.  First of all, it may take awhile for those fruits to appear leaving us with a bunch of consequences we would have rather not faced and, secondly, even when faced with consequences we often are incapable or refuse to link the consequence to the action.  So many times I have heard people justify an affair by saying it must be right because "we love each other so much and God is all about love."  They cling to this belief even though their life around them is falling apart and families are being destroyed and they know their belief system has always told them cheating is wrong.  Their reputation is shot and they often lose everything they have worked so hard to attain because of a rationalized false belief.  Let's face it, as my wise daughter pointed out to me, we live in a fallen world and our hearts and minds can be easily tricked into falling for momentary pleasure..  I have  also seen people whose lives are constantly in chaos.  They are overridden with anxiety and just can't seem to move forward.  They blame circumstances or others on their predicament and are blinded to what they may be doing to contribute to the mayhem of their lives. 

 

So, for all my talk about examining our beliefs, eliminating unhealthy ones, and forming healthy beliefs in order to live congruently as our goal, we have to be realistic in acknowledging that we do not always possess the wisdom to accomplish that.  For me, the final piece to the puzzle is to have a moral compass outside of ourselves to guide us in times of confusion and to challenge our hearts and minds when we begin to unhealthily rationalize.

 

We can all debate what that external moral compass "should" be but that isn't the point.  For Christians it would be the teachings of Jesus.  For those from other religions, it would be their particular holy book.  For an atheist it could be something like William Bennett's Book of Virtues.  The point is, whether our moral training came from church, our parent's, or some other religious teaching, most sources would agree to some of the same basic tenets of morality.  Something like treating others as you would like to be treated is pretty much espoused by most belief systems and, if lived out without compromise, can lead us to a healthy place of congruency.  Those beliefs which either come from training or are ingrained from birth are deeply a part of us and, eventually, no matter how much we rationalize we will eventually face the truth and results of our decisions.  I encourage you to find your outside moral compass so you have some insurance against rationalizing destructive behavior that can take you down unwanted paths and you can find that congruency about which I have been writing.